BB Charger???

Ketu! Ojota ! Ketu! ooo

#500 naira Ketu! ooooo

#500 naira ke!!! Thats way way preposterous na *why evuls*...me wey just get #850 naira left with me all thanks to WOMAN *ibo accent*. Several buses passed screaming fares ranging from #500 to #700...but looking at the mammoth crowd gathered at Oshodi bus stop, no one had a choice (except you wan waka sha). These danfo drivers just wanted to use this fuel subsidy BS to extort money from the average Nigerian.

Molue & BRT buses were MIA and taxis were demanding for exorbitant fees.

I was so damned for embarking on this journey of setting "P" all the way from Ikorodu (outland…lol) to Ajao Estate (mainland) because of  “Akpako”…what we do for girls sha *covers face*.

After 2 hours of waiting patiently for a saving grace (which didn't come), I sha reluctantly boarded one of the #500 naira Danfo.

On getting to Ketu, there was actually no bus available to convey people down to Ikorodu…na only Mile-12 the conductors they halla. The thing wey con vex me pass na the sun, the bros just dey extra-shine as if e no go shine tomorrow. Everybody was anxiously waiting for the arrival of Molue/Danfo/BRT like say they don hear say Jesus dey come that day. After spending close to 40 minutes standing & sweating under the sun, it got to a stage people started sitting on the pavement by the road. Na so pure water sellers sef dey use us catch trips, selling a sachet for #20 naira *chei…awon scammer oshi*

As I was standing jejeli on my own, na so my “Akpako sensor” *wink* bin target one fine girl wey just standa for one spot. From my first sighting of her, she looked like a total "Ajebo" (with oyinbo accent) that was stranded. She held her phone and was looking down at it with sadness written all over her face. As a sure boy wey no dey dull concerned Nigerian, I walked up to her and introduced myself and we got talking…later got to know that she was actually coming from a friend’s place and was supposed to call her mom’s driver once she gets to Ketu, but her phone battery went flat before getting to Ketu…summary of the story is that she is stranded and she doesn’t have enough money to charter a cab. I sha calmed her down and told her everything will be alright.

As if heaven heard our prayers, one rickety looking Molue arrived and the conductor shouting “#300 naira Koodu ooo!!! (na Ikorodu he dey call o)…see as we take rush enter am like say awoof money dey inside. Upon our rushing, both the babe & I couldn’t get a seat, so we had to take “standing” right beside the driver.

The Molue was filled to the brim to the extent that whenever the driver steps on the brake pedal, lower front go dey hit lower back and upper back go dey hit upper front *if you know what I mean…wink*

All of a sudden something I’ll never ever forget in my life happened…the babe actually asked the Molue driver for something.

Wanna guess what she asked for????????

This is how she said it *in yankee accent*,

“Excuse me, please do you have a blackberry car charger?....rotflmfao.

Omo mhen!!! I couldn’t believe my ears. Like seriously, who the fuck says that???....for inside MOLUE….lwkmd…I couldn’t hold it mhen, I just burst into laughter.

Trust the molue driver nau(person wey don shack paraga)…na so he reply “Abi eleyi ti ya werey ni”(meaning: abi this one don mad ni)……hehehehehehehehehehe.