Parolez Gone Bad

Before I start this cruise, I’d like to mention that I’ve asked God for forgiveness and I’m sure He has forgiven me.*****

When we talk about fine, on-point, heaven-sent babes, Tinuke is most def part of the first five. Staying 3 blocks away from my house, I could actually see her room from my window. Her dad is a commissioner, while her mum holds one ghen-ghen post in the ministry, so in summary she is an Ajebo (to the core).

Whenever she takes a stroll round the neighborhood, I always make sure that I position myself at vantage points so as to scope her and find an opportunity to chat her up. It got to a stage that I knew her daily routine; where she’s gonna be at a particular time, what she’s gonna take for breakfast/lunch/dinner and so on and so forth. You could even call me her “itinerary” sef..lol. During the times of scoping her, I never had the liver to walk up to her to introduce myself, and I have lied to told my friends that I have already gotten her number & we have started hanging out *covers face*…In order not to fall my hand, I sha summoned up courage from the North, South, East & West *lol* and walked up to her during one of her regular strolls. In my mind, I was thinking she’ll be such a snub… but when I approached her, she actually responded well & in a very friendly manner…very cool babe tho. We talked almost through the night without taking cognizance of time; I got to find out that she really didn't have friends in the neighborhood. So I instantly became her number one friend in the entire neighborhood *As E Dey Hot*. After our first encounter, we started hanging out virtually every night and we chatted regularly. I could tell that she really enjoyed my company because she was always reminding me of our next meeting *wink*. I later invited her to come over to my place (at least for the first time, since we stay just blocks away) and she accepted (of course).

On the day she was to come over…ehen lemme digress a little to chip this in..My dad travelled for business ish, mom went to work and my kid sister was in boarding school, so I was home alone except with my little cousin who is about 2 years or thereabout….now back to my story…Tinuke eventually came to my house and we were really having a good time gossiping gisting, playing (attimes it was intimate..heheheh…you know as e dey go nau *wink*). All these while, my lil cousin was asleep. Then he woke up and said he was thirsty and also wanted to eat chocolate…Now, this is where I made a very big mistake (all thanks to “akpako”), Momsy had always warned me not to allow my lil cousin to take anything from the chest freezer especially chocolates & cake…one thing about this freezer is that it has this auto-lock ish like that...but because I was so engrossed in my intimate activity with Tinuke, I told him to go get the water & chocolate himself. Then I took her to my room to continue our mhnn-mhnn *clears throat*. While we were in the room, I didn't know that my cousin had actually tumbled into the freezer whilst trying to get the chocolate *sad face* and the freezer lid shut him in. After like 20 minutes, I heard the door bell and came down to check who it was and to my surprise, it was my mom…said she was feeling kinda feverish that’s why she decided to come home. Then she asked after my cousin and I said he must be in his room playing or something. So she asked me to fetch him. On getting to his room I didn't find him there, called out his name but no response, went outside to check whether he was playing with the neighbor’s children but he was nowhere to be found. Momsy was already getting worried. ‘Twas when she went to the kitchen to get water that she heard this thumping sound coming from the freezer. So she called my attention to it, when I got there it was then it hit me that my lil cousin must have tumbled into the freezer and locked himself in it. On opening the lid of the freezer, lo and behold...we both saw him inside the freezer shivering, looking so pale, weary and chilled (icicles were already forming around his eyebrows) after long minutes of battling to get himself free…Thank God the power supplied by our ever-friendly NEPA PHCN that day was fluctuating, so the freezer was tripping off and on, otherwise na another story we go dey talk.

Chai!!!!! Na then I know say my own don be…..to cut the long story short, I got the beating of my life to the extent that if you had seen me, you’d think I stole in Bariga market *sad face*.